Maybe she was just wrong for him. Or maybe he just can't help it. So, is dating a proven cheater worth the risk? Cheating is the number one deal-breaker of relationships. But what the dude may not have realised at the time is that it pretty much sucker punches his chances of a happily ever after with any other woman from there on. Or does it?
Finding out that the gorgeous guy you've just met has left a string of broken hearts in his wake is never ideal. Finding out that those hearts shattered because of his cheating tends to sound alarm bells.
But before you make a rash decision, you should take the time to work out the circumstances of his cheating. A lot depends on the context of the cheating. If a man has cheated only once, then it could perhaps have been driven more by his unhappiness in that particular relationship. But if he has cheated multiple times, it's more likely something he's able to justify to himself and therefore repeat across relationships.
But I'll Change Him
He seems perfect on paper — hot, successful, funny, nice to your friends. But then there's that part about him cheating on his ex-girlfriend. And the girlfriend before her. It's easy enough to rationalise that maybe those women just weren't the right ones for him, and you are. Possible? Maybe, but not likely. Women want to believe in the fairytale lover. We tell ourselves that previous women must have made mistakes that we won't make. A tiger doesn't change his stripes. Regardless of how great you are or how much you love him, why wait until he cheats on you to see the light?
Can it ever work?
In a nutshell, yes. But keep in mind that a person who has cheated in the past is more likely to cheat again. It's not an iron-clad rule, but it holds up often enough. There are times when his cheating truly can become a thing of the past. Does he truly accept responsibility for his actions? If he's made mistakes, but admits to them, then that's a good start.
Sam inch Shaheem, a psychologist at the Human Relations Institute in Dubai agrees that cheaters can become faithful partners. Talk to your partner about his past and try and focus on the reasons why infidelity took place rather than judging him for cheating. For example, he may not have been able to break up with his ex for fear of hurting her feelings and that's why he cheated.